From the depths of the fitting room comes the tattle tail cry of the battle between fabric and flesh. There is a war being waged since the dawn of fitted clothing. One has only to stand in close proximity to a fitting room to hear the exasperation of the non-petite: the one sigh that fits all.

It all began in the early 1900s when women abandoned their long flowing gowns in favor of shorter and fitted clothing. We had a free pass to maximum coverage for a multitude of sins and we went for sleek? What were those women thinking? (Toll house cookies had not been invented yet so I will give some degree of latitude but it still boggles the mind.)

Oh sure, there was bound to be some cute little thing that had an 18-inch waist or let her bustle bump around where it didn’t belong to make being slim in a big dress evident, but none the less, the silent majority let this one get by without a struggle and now we all are paying the price.

It was probably a male conspiracy that inspired this change and the fact that those dresses were warm, inconvenient, uncomfortable and constricting.

Since then, styles have cinched us in even tighter. Many of us into double digit clothing sizes struggle to feel trendy when only a few short decades ago, there was a size called a “perfect size 10.” Now a 10 is akin to an elephant coverall.

Things further digressed when the once “for anorexics only” size 2 was outdone by it’s sickly sister, the size 0. There should be no such thing. Ancient Chinese mathematicians would be having a cow.

Now, those of us who are “past perfects,” treasure the introduction of Lycra in 1959, and give thanks for it’s all-forgiving nature and ability to adapt to its surroundings, giving us room to grow and expand as is the American way. With the help of a mere 2 to 5% of this miracle fabric woven into a nice study cotton, we can successfully squeeze into one size smaller outfits, bringing the prosperous prodigal 10s back to single digit sizing, saving us from becoming outcasts at the racks.

Only the brave admit that they’ve played the game of looking through the trousers one size smaller than you really are in front of other shoppers. Not to worry! Lycra makes us all into believers. We really can fit into them with a little help from this godsend for the women of the 21st Century. Lycra is nature’s way of making up for the loss of the long skirt and its ability to hide our folds.

While we must give Lycra it’s due, women must all be careful not to cross the line into the “one size fits all” category. The true danger of being this size isn’t the threat of an impending heart attack or onset of diabetes, but having someone read this on your tags on your clothing. Most clothing manufacturers have now replaced this “one size fits all” label with things like “comfort fit” and “easy fit” terminology to avoid any unnecessary collisions with reality. Like Lycra, it’s a stretch we can all live with.

It is also important to remember that men are not immune from the battle of the sizes. You’ll hear them utter the same sigh just after you hear them asked, “Does this make me look fat?”